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When learning that our family would be moving to Texas, friends immediately started sending their condolences as well as helpful videos on how to navigate our new life--videos such as Toddlers in Tiaras and Friday Night Lights.
I'm skeptical by nature and understand that TV--even 'reality' TV, maybe especially 'reality' TV--is fiction, but I've been surprised by the number of practices that I assumed to be make-believe that have proven to be actual things that happen in Texas:
- Dance moms - totally a thing. I'll never forget standing outside my daughter's 2nd grade dance class and hearing a mom scream at her daughter, "I don't care that you don't like it! If you are going to have a chance of being on the Cheer Squad in high school, you need to take dance and gymnastics until 8th grade!"
- The team pride placards placed outside the home of the quarterback and other members of the football team? I pass them in every neighborhood around here.
- Powderpuff Football--where the football players dress as cheerleaders and the cheerleaders play football--yup, it's an annual event at our local high schools.
cotillion
noun co·til·lion \kō-ˈtil-yən, kə-\
1. a ballroom dance for couples that resembles the quadrille
2. an elaborate dance with frequent changing of partners carried out under the leadership of one couple at formal balls
3. a formal ball
Sheldon Cooper, of The Big Bang Theory, explains it a little differently:
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- "It's always a popular, super fun activity."
- "I've had two children go through this program. It's a great experience."
- "SPREAD the word to the BOYS- it seems they always have plenty of girls but need boys as they partner kids up to dance."
Do I want my kids to have manners? Yes! I'm always telling my kids to get their elbows off the table, eat with their mouths closed, cut their food into smaller pieces, etc.. It's an uphill struggle, but I struggle because I think its worth it. Do I want them to be polite? Yes! We practice our pleases and thank yous and I try to model the courtesy that I want them to learn. Do I want them to know how to dance? Sure. I'm just not sure that that goal is as realistic. Do they need to know how to Fox Trot? Not really, but learning new skills is always useful. Is it harmful? Not unless the social costs of being unsuccessful would outweigh any benefit.
I wondered why I was so hostile to the mere suggestion of sending my girls to Cotillion. Maybe it's the gloves, the white dresses, the reinforcement of what I think are archaic gender roles. Would I feel differently if I had sons? Would I be more open to dressing up my little gentleman and having someone else reinforce the lessons I teach at home? (All except the dancing that is. I have no idea how to Fox Trot and the closest I've come to waltzing was in a production of Pygmalion.)
When I talked to my husband about it, he had no interest, but he didn't have the anxiety either.
"If anyone asks you why you didn't sign the girls up," he said, "tell them we teach them manners by watching Downton Abbey."
Love Mohnie's comment! We don't have Cotillion here (obviously) but they do offer an etiquette class for "young ladies and gentlemen" through the Parks and Recreation Dept. Whenever Tyler gets particularly unruly, I threaten to sign him up, but so far have not had to follow through...
ReplyDeleteYou can totally hear him saying that, though, can't you. LOL.
DeleteLove Mohnie's comment! We don't have Cotillion here (obviously) but they do offer an etiquette class for "young ladies and gentlemen" through the Parks and Recreation Dept. Whenever Tyler gets particularly unruly, I threaten to sign him up, but so far have not had to follow through...
ReplyDeleteWe don't have anything like the cotillion around here but our high school has an annual powder puff game as you described. It's a fund raiser for the food bank. And our town puts up placards along main street, not in private yards.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for cheer squad, I told my children they could do any activity except be cheerleaders.
I guess that is what I'm trying to explore here-differences in community attitudes and why we have the beliefs that we do. Thanks for coming by. I know you have a LOT of sites to visit for the challenge.
ReplyDelete